Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Kool Aid at night or on the trails for a workout? Sure why not!

In my own absurd life, my life of irony, I found myself laughing in the mirror.   I guess this started years ago.

I am a Distance inline skater, a rollerblader.  Unabashed, have been since 1993.

A workout for me is short if it is 10 miles.  Longer, Faster, Further.  I don't "jump things", don't do "Ollies" or Grinds.   If you do, great, I'm more than happy to sit on the sidelines and let you have fun. I really enjoy someone who is dancing on a trail on "Quads" in an artistic fashion.

It is a growing sport, we all bring something to the table, or to the park.

But going out for an hour and a half or more means I'm doing things differently.  On a long workout I'm carrying water and snacks.  Not wanting to run into a sugar crash, it's more than one snack usually if I go past two hours.

I did notice a while ago that caffeine is my friend.  I'd skate faster and further when I'd have coffee that morning.  About an extra 10% faster.  

Although I am fast enough for people on bikes to congratulate my speed, there are times that that extra horsepower (Moose Power?) is not welcome.

After that workout, I figured out that having coffee or caffeinated soda isn't the best at 8PM if you want to get to bed at 10:30, earlier if it is a sunrise workout.  A Red Bull may give you wings, but I've gone airborne without one of those little cans of evil sweetness.

Anyone who is training at a high level, especially if they are over 30, will go through this micromanagement and modification of their diet at some point.

But there are times you are thirsty at night, right?  

This is where the weird OCD hits.

You see I got bored with the ice water at my side.  No reason other than I wanted something different.   I found Decaf Coffee or Iced Tea to be a bit repetitive.  Since every last calorie counts in a training diet, what do you do?

The answer?  Kool-aid.  Specifically with saccharine.

Yes, a big 6'4" 220 pound man got started bending down like a Giraffe at a water hole with widely spaced legs to the lower shelves at the market to get the packets that he had as a child.  No, it's not a case of regression or middle aged crazy.  They put them there so the toddlers you are dragging through the Winn-Dixie can see them.

You see, I learned to enjoy Sharkleberry Fin.  Or Pineapple.  Or Watermelon flavor.  While it is easy to find, there are only so many times you can drink Tropical Punch.  I had hit the wrong button online and instead of getting a small selection of packets of this day glow powder, I ended up getting a fist sized cube of mixed packets, 100 of them ... all at once.

Then again, if you toss a packet of that stuff into a white cake mix, you end up with a Tropical Punch Flavored Cake.  

Great for a snack on a long haul workout, right?  I'm planning on trying that next time I make a cake, should be great for a laugh.

Yes, I really do find it ironic that a big beefy guy like me is drinking a pink kid's drink for a Sport Drink.  Or by choice at night before bed.

With helmet and skates, I'm about 7 feet tall, and in the water bottles that I have in the Fanny Pack, might just be a Blue liquid that looks like Windex and tastes like a freezer pop from your childhood.  Yes, a Fanny Pack does have its place and its place is strapped on backwards around my waist coming at you around 15 MPH.

A half gallon of that stuff goes long enough that I can have some at night.  

Isn't Variety the Spice of Life?   Even if that spice is in a packet with a cartoon character based on an anthropomorphic apex predator.

Don't get me started talking about the Sea Cap'n that I had to wrestle for that baggie of cereal that I'm Crunching through for the snack next time.

Sometimes what you got fed as a kid, or were feeding your kids, has a different and secondary purpose.  In my case it is weirding out the normies, like me.

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