Sunday, December 13, 2020

I just invented a DIY surgery kit. It’s called Suture Self.

 Well, ok, so I enjoyed putting out short stories yesterday, why not do it again? 

A man experiences severe pain in his eyes but couldn't point out why.

The pain worsened over a few weeks and his eyes would swell and redden.

He consulted a doctor. He asked the patient to sit down and not panic.

''once I examine you, you'll be prescribed the medicine and treatment and it'll be fine soon.''

The doctor offered him tea, and the man agreed.

As the man sipped tea, the doctor looked and him wide-eyed with a weird expression on his face.

''Next time you have tea, please remove the spoon before-hand.''

An off-duty soldier is riding the train.

When the train reaches its first stop a general walks in and the soldier stood up.

"At ease soldier, sit down.", said the general.

The train reached its second stop and again the soldier stood up.

The general once again said, "At ease soldier, sit down."

The train reached its third stop and again the soldier stood up.

The general said, "You don't have to salute every time we reach a stop."

The soldier said, "I'm trying to get off, I missed my stop 2 stations ago."

Reckless Driving

A man was driving on the highway when all of a sudden he had to swerve to avoid a box falling off the truck that was in front of him.

Seconds later, a police office pulled him over for reckless driving.

As the officer was writing the ticket, the driver noticed the box he'd avoided had been full of nails and tacks.

"I had to swerve otherwise I'd have run over those and blown my tires!" he protested.

"OK," replied the officer, as he ripped up the ticket, "but I'm still bringing you in."

"What for?!"

"Tacks evasion."

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