Knowing that I find my jokes online for the blog, I thought that geekdom would come to my rescue. Not really, I'm filling this out with other shorts and one liners.
Here, it's time change day (Spring Ahead and Fall Back) and hopefully we can put an end to that silliness once and for all.
Set it and forget it for crying out loud! Not everything old Ben Franklin came up with makes sense!
Also here, it is Pi Day. We have this idea that writing dates as Month/Day/Year makes sense. Being a Lead Project Manager, I insisted on Year/Month/Date when dates were stored. Now that everything is a database, it's not so important, just define the field as a date.
Anyway, here you go!
An opinion without 3.14 is just an onion.
What do you call a 3.14 long sea raider? A pi-rate.
I know all the digits of pi. Just not in order.
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 feet long? A pi-thon.
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes? Fat. You get fat.
My wife is irrational and her problems are never ending. She was born on π day.
What did the step ladder say to the ladder? You’re not my real dad!
How do you get down from an elephant? You don’t, you get down from a goose.
How do you stop a bull from charging? You unplug it.
And a few "short" jokes to send you on your way.
The 3 hardest things to say:
I was wrong.
I need help.
Two friends are driving through a town...
They see a billboard saying:
Vodka + water = kidney problems;
Rum + water = liver problems;
Whiskey + water = heart issues;
Gin + water = brain damage;
Says one to the other “dude, looks like there are some serious issues with water supply in this town”
Soldier: A horse is definitely man's best friend.
His wife: I thought dogs were man's best friend.
Soldier: Ever done a hasty retreat from a losing battle on a chihuahua.
The air in my apartment was so dry that we were getting shocked every time we touched a faucet or door knob. So, was I happy that my landlord finally installed a humidifier ?
I was ecstatic.