You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.

 I know a guy who once lived in Brisbane, and his name is Tim.  I have to wonder if ...

A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game.


After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It is city in Africa.

The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:

"I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu ... "

The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his winning masterpiece:

"When Tim and I to Brisbane went We met three women cheap to rent. They were three and we were two, So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "

And because that was a bit short:

 
 

A Scotsman phones the dentist.

Scotsman: Aye how much for a tooth extraction?

Dentist: “it will be $150, sir”

Scotsman: “150 quid! to be fair it’s just the one tooth!  Could you no charge me less if you don’t’ use anaesthetic?

Dentist: “Well that’s highly unusual but I could deduct $20 if you wish

Scotsman, “could you no use one of your trainee/assistants and do the job without anaesthetic?

Dentist: “well I cannot guarantee the professionalism and it will be painful but I could deduct another $50

Scotsman: “well howaboot is you make it a training session, your trainee/assistant can do the extraction with other students watchin and learning with no anaesthetic?

Dentist considers this a moment: “That could indeed be beneficial for the students, I tell you what I will only charge you $50 but it may be very traumatic and painful.

Scotsman: Pure Brilliant, now yer talkin Laddie!  Can you make an appointment for my wife then, for next Tuesday?!