Sunday, August 7, 2022

I used to own a wheelbarrow full of four-leaf clovers but then I realized I really shouldn't push my luck.

It's Sunday and I'm feeling relaxed.  Just did a long 90 minute bike ride looking at the clouds coming on shore from the tropical ocean and went down through a trail that dead ended at the water on three sides. 

Hey mountain bikes gotta mount I guess!

Since I didn't see any ugly alligators, and I have been told they do sneak in from time to time, I'll talk about ugly people.

A bus full of ugly people drives off a cliff.

They all make it to Heaven. When they get there God makes them all form a single-file line before the pearly gates and explains to them that as you enter paradise, you can make one wish, so long as it's not to come back to life or anything that interferes with the world of the living.

The first person in line, an overweight woman with bad skin, steps up to the gate. When God asks her what her wish is, she says, "My whole life I always felt bad about the way I look. I wish to finally be beautiful." God nods and instantly she starts losing weight and her skin clears up until she looks like some kind of glamorous model. Ecstatic, she runs through the gates.

Next in line is a middle-aged balding man with bad posture. He says, "I always felt like less of a man than other guys. I want to be beautiful too." His back straightens out, his hair returns, and even his jawline becomes stronger, turning the man into a silver fox. Looking suave as can be, he happily strolls through the gates.

After these first two, everybody wants to be beautiful. One by one, a bus full of thirty people, driver included, make the same wish. Muscles expand, lips become fuller, crooked features straighten out, the whole shebang. The 29th person passes through the gate and the last guy in line is laughing hysterically.

"Why are you laughing?" God asks.

"Because I know what my wish is" the man replies.

"Ah, of course" God says. "You are so elated to become beautiful as well that you're laughing out of sheer joy."

"No, that's not it."

"Oh? Then what is your wish?"

"Make 'em all ugly again."

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