What do you call a highly intellectual dinosaur? A thesaurus.

I may as well jump on the bandwagon with this one.  If you are a regular reader of this blog (the few that you are) I am sure you can see why I would like this particular gift on a Sunday morning...


A phone rings at the Robertson estate.
Hello? Hi, I'd like to speak with Pat Robertson
Oh, sorry to inform you that he has passed.
Click. Again the phone rings. Hello?
(Obviously the same person):
Hi, is Pat Robertson there?
I'm sorry to say he is no more.
Click. Phone rings again.
Hello? (Same voice) Hi, can you get Pat Robertson for me?
Sir, as I told you before, he is gone!
Click. Again ring ring
Hello?
Hi, can Pat Robertson come to the phone?
Listen, you little XXXX, I told you he's dead. D.E.A.D. Don't you understand that?
Oh, I understand all right.
Then why do you keep calling!?!
I just like to hear that he is dead!



And now that I got that out of my system, here's little Johnny at his first job....




Little Johnny gets his first job working at a truck stop

A trucker comes in and says, “Alright, I’d like to have three flat tires, a couple running boards and a pair of headlights.”

Little Johnny didn’t want to appear stupid, so he goes to the kitchen and says to the cook, “This guy out there says he wants three flat tires, a coupe of running boards and a pair of headlights. What does he think this is, an auto parts store?”

“No,” says the cook. “The flat tires are pancakes, the running boards are bacon, and the headlights are eggs sunny side up.”

Little Johnny nods his head and scoops out a big bowl of chili and brings it out to the trucker.

The trucker says, “Hey, kid. What’s the chili for?”

“Well, while you’re waiting for your flat tires, running boards and headlights, I thought you might want to fill up in some gas!”