Did you hear about the duck who got a nose job? He didn't like the bill.

Hey so it's a weekend, yet again.  So what do I have for you?  A triple play of shorts!


A string takes a seat at a bar and orders.
Bartender: you a string?

String: …yeah…
Bartender: we don’t serve strings here

Defeated, the string leaves.
Outside, he peels back some of his ends and twists the filaments around and through one-another.

He goes back.
Has a seat…

Bartender: we don’t serve strings here, ARE YOU A STRING?!?
String: I’m a frayed knot.



A psychiatrist is testing his patients.

He asks the first one "what is 4+2?" The patient replies "potato"
The doctor is disappointed and moves on to the next one.
He asks the second one "what is 4+2?" the patient replies "5000"
The doctor is disappointed and moves on to the next one.
He asks the third one "what is 4+2?" the patient replies "6"
The doctor is impressed. "That's correct! you're making progress. how did you figure it out?"
The patient replies, "well doctor i just added potato + 5000 and got 6"


There was this young Norwegian man who always loved to go for hikes. Everyday he'd walk along the hillside, look down at the inlet below no matter rain, sleet or snow. Some years later he got a nice dog and he'd go for long walks high in the clouds just to smell the salty air and toss the ball with the his pup. As he aged the people in the town warned him about going for hikes so often and in bad weather. Until one day it finally happened...he slipped in the rain and fell off a cliffs edge into the water below.

you know what they say: you live by the fjord, you die by the fjord.