Wednesday, December 27, 2023

The Attack Onion or Food Poisoning Happens Even When You Overcook Your Food

They say "Write What You Know".  I think I'm there.  Take this all tongue in cheek because I certainly am.  I'm willing to take a bullet for comedy!

Figuratively of course.  Despite the fuss and bluster, really, I'm pretty harmless.  I just look big and hairy scary. 

I lost a day and it was due to an attack onion.  I also lost 3 pounds in 18 hours which is frankly shocking.

I had read about how if an onion is in a refrigerator "too long" it can pick up whatever nasties are in it and not let go until it is in you.  I think that was what happened.

Without going into the specific results, if your onion looks anything but what it should, be safe and toss it.  Mine was quite old and even after cooking the daylights out of the diced bits in a skillet, I must not have gone far enough.

By the time it was done, I was empty.  Lost a rather good Banana Apple Smoothie, Breakfast sandwich, and my coffee.  It only took all damn day.

It could have been worse, I'm sure.  I was watching Radar all morning and due to a rainy overnight, and lingering clouds, I could have been at the park in the middle of a workout instead of at the comfort of home hugging the porcelain god as someone here was holding my hair, figuratively, by going out and getting me Cotter Pins and things to help settle my insides.

That bike thing again.  See I was procrastinating all morning.  I Knew I wanted to get my bike back to perfect so I had taken the time up until this all fired up and removed the brakes and re-sanded the brake shoes.  Oh and wash down the discs with alcohol so their nice and shiny.  We like shiny discs, just like your car's front brakes.  Stop good.  Too many Karens on the trails not watching themselves and going against traffic. 

In the middle of all of this I get a call from the local hospital asking about a billing mistake.  Their mistake.  I asked "Did you apply the secondary insurance?" while I was in the middle of a sick attack and said "You're calling someone who was just in to your hospital for a procedure, you will get the info and apply it and I won't have the pleasure of your voice in the middle of gastric upset again, will I". 

He agreed, got everything he needed, and rang off.

So hey, I experienced what I would have actually gone through had I had this kind of situation before I had retired.  You see I worked for a middle of the road kind of University.  Loved my clients, loved some of my co workers but the internal organization was so toxic I tossed myself out, retired early and we moved to South Florida so we could reject the Hustle Culture and the people who get promoted because they were too incompetent to be an actual productive person.  I would call in periodically with "Food Poisoning" so I could de-stress and wind down.  Never on Monday or Friday though.  That would be suspicious.

Yeah, Suspicious.  That is what I'll call it. 

It's now Wednesday Morning.  I'm on the mend.  No more hugging the Porcelain God.  I have spare cotter pins for the bike and all the meds I need to make nice with my inners.  I'm also debating whether I feel like I have enough horsepower to go to the wonderful Asian Market across the county so I can get my Oolong Tea in a lovely brown tin and some of those amazing sweets they have.  I have a thing for a Ginger Coconut Candy that I just can't make at home.

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