My wife wanted to go on vacation, but I wanted a staycation. In the end, we settled it with an altercation.

All I have to say is sometimes a story is just worth the read.


 
A guy sees a sign in front of a house that says "Talking Dog: $10:

He walks up to the gate, and there's a beautiful labrador retriever in the front yard.

"Hello, how are you?" says the dog.

"Oh my goodness. You really can talk!"

"Yep, sure can," says the dog.

"So what's your story?" he asks.

"Well, I discovered I could talk when I was a puppy, so I contacted the local police to see if I could work for them undercover. They hired me to catch drug dealers. All I had to do was hang around and listen to them talk because no one suspects a dog of anything."

"That's amazing," the guy says.

"Yeah, then the FBI heard about me so they hired me to catch terrorists. I uncovered a number of plots just by laying at the feet of the leaders and listening to them talk."

"Wow! That's incredible."

"After that INTERPOL called and I worked for a while catching spies. I exposed quite a number of them and protected our country."

"You're really something!"

"Yeah, now I'm retired. I get to breed whenever I want, and I have a great life."

The guy goes to the door and the owner answers.

"I saw your sign. I'd like to buy the dog," he says.

The owner nods.

"But tell me, he has an incredible life story. Why are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a damn liar. He never did any of that stuff!