Apparently I snore so loudly that it manages to scare everyone else in my car.

 I really hope you don't know someone like this, but I think in reality ... you do.




A guy comes home from a business trip earlier than expected

This sends his wife into a panic. “Quick! Go stand in the corner like a statue. He’s so dumb, he’ll think you’re a piece of art.” She yells at her lover, pushing him to the darkened corner of the den.

As she predicted, her husband walked in, noticed the ‘statue’, asked her about it, had some dinner, watched TV for a while and eventually the couple went to bed. Afraid to move, the man stayed perfectly still the entire time.

Around midnight, the husband came out of the bedroom, and made two sandwiches. He walked over to the ‘statue’ and handed one of them to it, saying “I was stuck at the Smith’s house like this for hours… least she could’ve done was to offer me a sandwich.”