What was the Flashlight arrested for? Battery charges

 I am kind of "the flashlight guy" on my block.  We went a bit nutty because we found that the laptops of the prior era had batteries in them that we could use to power the things.  So we went to find ones that were 1000 lumens or higher and use them for dog walks and on my bike when I was riding in the predawn hours.

After listening to neighbors here, I realized riding a bike with two very bright lights on the front, one on the back, on these South Florida Roads was taking my life in my hands and I figured out how to get to the airpark in Pompano and ride there, safely.

However...





The Donkey

A man is driving down the road when he notices a hitchhiker standing with a donkey.

The man stops and says "Hey fella, I can give you a ride, but what about the donkey?"

The hitchhiker simply replies, "don't worry about him, he'll be alright."

So the man driving is cruising down the road about 50MPH when he looks in his rearview mirror and sees that the donkey is right on his tail.

The driver then speed up to 60MPH and the donkey still is right on his tail.

Finally, the driver increases to 70MPH and the donkey is still right on his tail.

The driver finally says to the hitchhiker, "hey pal, what is the deal with your donkey?"

The hitchhiker says "what do you mean?"

The man says, "I am going 70MPH and he is right on my tail, and on top of that his tongue is hanging out."

The hitchhiker says "to what side?"

"The left" replies the driver.

To which the hitchhiker replies "just hold your lane, he is looking to pass."