Saturday, January 13, 2024

Why shouldn’t you eat a clock? Because it would be time consuming

It's another well told version of an old favorite.  See if you get the punch line before I did!

Liberty biberty

Doug breaks for dinner and walks into a cafe with Limu the emu behind him. The waitress seats Doug and asks him for his order.
''A hamburger, fries and a coke," then turns to Limu, "What about you?" "I'll have the same." says the emu.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order, "That will be $9.40 please." and Doug reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, Doug and Limu comes again and he orders a hamburger, fries and a coke. Limu says, "I'll have the same." Again Doug reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine for four days. On the fifth night, the pair enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato, and a salad," says Doug. '"Same." says the emu.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again Doug pulls out the exact change from his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, how do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," replies Doug, "A few years ago, before I was working for Liberty Mutual, I would clean out the thrift store collection drop-off boxes and one day I found an old lamp covered with dust. As I was wiping it down, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or more, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!" "That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact amount of money is always there." says Doug.
The waitress asks, "What's the deal with the emu?"

Doug sighs, pauses, and then answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a plump rump and long legs, who agrees with everything I say."

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