My brother-in-law was dating a dolphin. They broke up. He really wanted to have a porpoise.

 Living in a resort town gives you a different view of a lot of things. Like a contempt for bar owners and tourists.

Somehow this just seems true to home.

The bar needs a bouncer.

A man entered a bar that was advertising for a bouncer.
He went up to the bartender and asked, "Has that bouncer position been filled?”
“Not yet,” said the bartender, “do you have any experience?”
“Well, no,” said the man, “but watch this!”

He walked over and picked up an obviously drunk patron and threw him right out of the front door.
“How about that for experience?,” he crowed.
“Not bad,” the bartender conceded, “but you’ll need to talk to the boss about the job.”
“OK,”, the man said, “where is he?”
“Well,” laughed the bartender, “he’s that bruised individual who is just now staggering back in through the front door!”