Why do librarians love skyscrapers? Because they have lots of storeys!

My lady friend keeps calling me an alcoholic!
Good thing we're not supposed to use labels.

What did the blind rabbit say to the deer?
I have no eye, deer!

Why couldn't Beethoven go to the dance?
He was too baroque.

Whats sport can you play with a Wombat?  Wom!

I don't trust our air conditioning system.  It seems forced.

They laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian but they aren't laughing anymore.

How did the little truck always take home ladies from the bar?  He had the best pick-up lines.

What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?  Alpaca lunch.

What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?  A drummer

What's the easiest way to remember your wife's birthday?  Forget it once!

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?  Your honor.