Sunday, March 31, 2019

How do you round up 500 old cows? Put up a bingo sign.

Sam signs up with the army and gets sent on basic training...

When they are handing out rifles, he is at the back of the line and they run out just before they get to him.

The Sergeant gives him a stick and tell him to just pretend it's a rifle.

So our hero goes running through the mock battle pointing his stick and yelling, "Bangidy, bang, bang, bang. Bangidy, bang, bang, bang."

The next week, they start bayonet training. Again Sam is at the end of the line and again they run out just before they get to him.

The Sergeant tells him to just pretend he has a bayonet at the end of his pretend rifle. So Sam goes running through the mock battle with his stick yelling, "Bangidy, bang, bang, bang. Stabidy, stab, stab,stab."

Well the unit finished basic training and gets called up to go into real battle.

Our hapless hero finds himself eventually on a landing craft, hitting the beach.

Unfortunately, they have never given him a real rifle and he still has his stick. He is wondering what in the heck he is going to do.

As the unit fights his way inland, Sam mindlessly points his stick at an enemy soldier standing on a hill and yells, "Bangidy, bang, bang, bang."

To his amazement, the enemy soldier falls over dead! So he
aims his stick at another and yells, "Bangidy, bang, bang, bang."

And that enemy falls over dead!

Now our hero is running madly along, pointing his stick at any enemy soldier he sees, yelling "Bangidy, bang, bang, bang."

Enemy soldiers are dropping like flies! An enemy jumps out from a bush beside him.

Sam points his stick and yells, "Stabidy, stab, stab, stab." The
other guy drops and writhes in pain.

All of a sudden an enemy soldier comes walking slowly along a path.

Sam carefully aims his stick at the soldier and yells, "Bangidy,
bang, bang, bang." But the enemy soldier just keeps coming.

Sam tries again, "Bangidy, bang, bang, bang!" Nothing. As the enemy soldier gets closer, Sam cries out, "Stabidy, stab, stab, stab."

But the enemy soldier runs right over him, crushing him.

As Sam lies dying, he hears the enemy soldier muttering, "Tankidy, tank, tank, tank."

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