What do monkey police do to monkeys who drink and drive? They put them behind monkey bars.

Monkeys?  Everyone likes monkeys, right?  Cute little antics, almost human-like on a good day?

Have more monkeys!

A hat maker was trying to sell his hats on a hot summers day. 

After having no luck for 4 hours under the sun, he decided to take a short rest underneath a gigantic tree. He set his briefcase of hats down, took one out to cover his face, and laid down on the grass. With the shade from his hat and the warmth of the ground beneath him, he felt drowsy and quickly fell asleep. When he woke up an hour later, he was startled to find that his briefcase was open, and his hats were missing.

He then heard a curious sound above him. only to notice that the tree was filled with chatty monkeys all wearing his hats! He quickly tried offering them sticks or dropped fruits in exchange for his hats, but the monkeys seemed to only make fun of him. Furious, he threw a stick at one of the monkeys, which resulted in a shower of thrown sticks back at him. Ducking for cover, he backed off to another nearby tree where he thew his hat down in frustration. To his amazement, the monkeys, seemingly copying him, threw their hats down as well! He quickly picked up his hats and ran away.

The hat maker went on to have a very successful business, getting married and having many children and eventually grandchildren. He passed on his knowledge of the trade to his oldest son before retiring, who upheld the family business and eventually passed it on to his oldest son as was tradition.

A few generations passed, and the new owner and grandson of the hat maker was selling hats on a hot day, when he too decided to take a short rest underneath a very similar tree. 

One thing lead to another, and he found himself waking up to his hats having been stolen by monkeys! However, he remembered the old story his grandfather had told him about outwitting some monkeys, and threw his hat down. A single monkey climbed down the tree and took the hat before making a rude gesture and scurrying back up. Stumped and enraged, he screamed at the monkey.

The monkey replied: "Hey idiot, you're not the only one with a grandfather".