Saturday, July 27, 2019

I make bad puns. That's how eye roll.

Ok, so if you're underaged, overly prissy, or don't like suggestive humor hand it to your kid because there are No Bad Words here.

A 50 year old guy goes to a surgeon to make himself look younger

The surgeon completes the surgery and it is a success.

"How do I look?" the man asks.

"You look 30 years young!" the surgeon replies.

The next day, the man goes to the gas station to fuel up and asks the cashier:

"Excuse me sir, how old do I look?"

The cashier responds, "You look 29 years young!"

The man is flattered and responds, "Why thank you! I'm actually 50!"

Next, the man goes to a meat market and asks the butcher:

"Excuse me sir, how old do I look?"

The butcher replies, "You look pretty young. I'm guessing about 27."

Again, the man is flattered. "Why thank you! I'm actually 50!"

The man is strolling around town looking for another pedestrian to guess his age. He comes across an elderly woman who appears to be friendly.

"Excuse me miss, I hate to bother you, but how old do you think I am?" the man asks.

The woman replies, "I'm sorry mister but I've lost my vision from old age and I could only guess your age if I felt the inside of your pants."

The man is reluctant at first. But then he decides to just go with it. He unzips his pants and lets the woman stick her hands inside. She feels around for a bit and then removes her hands from his pants.

"You're 50 years old!" she says.

The man is astonished. "What?! How did you know?!" he asks.

"I was right behind you at the meat market." She replies.

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