I have always been fascinated by languages. Both human languages and computer languages. They all serve a basic purpose: to exchange information and to give instruction.
Some of the more interesting human languages have a host of sounds that you are not going to run across in English and European languages like the click languages in southern Africa. Each Click is a different letter, and some of these same languages have a number of different clicks.
An anthropologist visits a local translator in Zimbabwe.
"I'd like to set up a meeting with the nearby Xhosa tribe," he says. "But I haven't had any luck finding them. Can you help me send a message?"
The translator smiles. "Ah yes, it is difficult to find them. This particular tribe has little interest in Westerners. But they will still meet with you. All you need to do is head to a specific plateau, and wait there after saying this phrase." He uttered a series of Xhosa syllables and clicking sounds. The anthropologist took careful note of the phrase and thanked him.
On his way, he became slightly lost but eventually came upon a plateau fitting the description. He stood on the edge and proceeded to make the clicking sounds. A few moments later, a woman from the tribe arrived. He smiled and began to introduce himself, but the woman suddenly started flirting and rubbing herself all over him.
Unsure what to do next, the anthropologist froze, but a few moments later, the translator appeared and shooed her away.
"This is the wrong plateau, my friend," he laughed. "This is a meeting place for prostitutes!"
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry...." the anthropologist began.
"It's perfectly fine, my friend. Just be more careful what you click on, you could have gotten a virus!"
An Open Letter To My Sister, or Whatever Pops Into My Head at the Time...
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