This one is a bit short so I gave you a Two-Fer. The first one is just so wonderfully dumb that you can tell it anywhere. The other one is here because I am thinking we really do need to go to the market this weekend!
3 guys in a desert...
One day traveling thru Death Valley, I saw 3 guys stranded in the heat: Joe, Moe, Doh. I noticed Joe was holding a bucket filled with water, Moe a bag full of cash, and Doh with just a car door. I stopped and asked Joe, why are you carrying water?
Joe: "If I get hot, I can drink this water." Makes sense, so I asked Moe why are you carrying bag full of money?
Moe: "If I get hot, maybe I can buy some water from Joe." Also makes sense, then I asked Doh, why are you carrying just a car door?
Doh: "Well, if I get hot, I'll just roll down the window."
And... since that was a short joke...
A new supermarket opened in Phoenix. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.
I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.