I am afraid that these two here... well they passed the laugh out loud test. I guess it is because I didn't finish my coffee who knows!
A rich couple was going out for the evening.
The lady of the house decided to give the butler, Throckmorton, the night off.
She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his evening.
As it turned out, the wife did not have a good time at the party, so she came home early. She walked into the house and eyed Throckmorton sitting alone in the dining room. She called for him to follow her. She led him to the master bedroom. She closed and locked the door. She looked at him and smiled.
‟Throckmorton. Take off my dress.” He did so, carefully.
‟Throckmorton. Take off my stockings and garter.” He silently obeyed her.
‟Throckmorton. Remove my bra and panties.” The tension mounted as he complied.
Finally, she looked at him and said, ‟Throckmorton. If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you are fired.”
I was on my lunch break at the job site, and we were all complaining about how our boss still owed us for the last job. I overheard one of the old carpenters on his cell phone....
"$1000? Sure honey, if you like it so much, then buy the coat"
I thought, "how can this old guy afford a $1000 coat for his wife? We aren't even getting paid."
He continued, "The new BMW? Well, if you must have it, darling, make sure you get it fully loaded. $125,000? That's fine."
I thought, "Wow this guy is loaded... Lucky wife, driving around in a new $125k car in a new $1000 sweater. There is NO WAY he can afford that on our salary."
The conversation continued, "The house you like came on the market? Well how much is it? 800,000? See if they will accept $775,000"
We were all confused and in disbelief as he ended the call.
He turned and faced the rest of the crew and said, "If anyone sees the boss, tell him I found his phone, his wife called, and I QUIT!"