I have a cousin in Nebraska. Nice enough guy, we share first and last name. I found him doing a search online to see how my reputation was. We're fine, but do be careful before you say something online since Online Is Forever.
We have a conversation going with four other people scattered through the country and it devolved into a Talk Like A Pirate Day on SMS Text. Yes, it's a bit strange to have a bunch of folks typing in messages and pretending to be Captain Crunch, but we all decided it was in good fun if Cap'n Horatio Crunch sounded like a Newfie.
A Newfie is someone from Newfoundland Canada, generally has a distinctive accent, and I have never met one that I didn't like. So here ya go, now! Sorry.
Two Newfoundlanders, Jimmy and Dave, are out of work, so they decide to move to Toronto to find jobs. They scrounge up every last cent they have for the trip and find they have $1000 between them to get started.
As soon as they get to Toronto, they see a sign in a shop window that says "Suits--$5.00/Shirts--$3.00/Pants--$2.00"
Dave says to Jimmy, "Look at dose prices, Jimmy! Listen, b'y, ferget da jobs. We can walk in dere, load up on haberdashery wit the grand, take 'em back to Newfoundland to sell 'em and make a goddamned mint!"
The two walk in to the shop, trying their best to put on a Toronto accent, and Jimmy says, "Good day, sir. We would loike to purchase one hundred of your foinest suits, one hundred shirts, and one hundred pants."
Shopkeeper says, "You guys are from Newfoundland, aren't you?"
The boys say, "How did you know dat?!"
Shopkeeper says, "This is the dry cleaners."