I am feeling generous so here's a two-fer!
Toughest time of my Life
I had the toughest time of my life. First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis.
Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis.
Then they gave me hypodermics. Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy.
These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis.
I completely lost my memory for a while.
I know I had diabetes and acute ingestion, besides gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis...
I don't know how I pulled through it. It was the hardest spelling test I've ever had.
A 5 year old girl just lost a baby tooth and the dentist was explaining to her that if she put her tooth under the pillow at night that the tooth fairy would come and leave money in it’s place.
Whereupon the little girl says , all cocky: “I know all about that doctor. As a matter of fact, I know what the tooth fairy looks like!”
Doctor with an inquisitive look: “You do?”
Little girl: “I sure do, I’ve seen her.”
Doctor: “You have?”
Little girl: “You bet, do you wanna know what the tooth fairy looks like?”
The dentist nodded his head and she motioned him closer and she whispers: “It looks just like my momma but, naked.”