I hate the cold weather. I don't mind watching it on TV but I hope never to be somewhere at the same time there is snow or ice on the ground again. I'll leave that to "y'all up North"!
Revenge of the penguins
There is this large group of penguins living their peaceful, penguin lives.
One day, a ship crashes and sinks nearby. A polar bear swims to the ice from the sinking ship and quickly falls asleep, obviously exhausted from his ordeal.
The penguins, having never seen a polar bear, think nothing of it and go about their daily routines.
When the polar bear wakes up, he is hungry and starts eating penguins. This, as you would expect, causes concern amongst the colony.
After a few days of this carnage, the penguins have a meeting. Their leader says, "We need to cut a big hole in the ice where there is no water beneath it." For penguins, this was a difficult task, but they trusted in their leader. It took a while, but they cut the large hole.
"Now, we need to gather a bunch of fish and put it around the hole." The penguins were not happy to be catching fish for them not to eat, but they completed the task.
"What was the purpose of this?" asked one penguin. "He will eat the fish, then eat all of us!"
The leader says, "When the bear is eating the fish, he will be bent way over, next to the edge of the void we created. We will simply walk up behind him and kick him right in the ice hole!"