Wednesday, June 8, 2022

Making Massive Peeps in the Microwave For Fun And Entertainment

Standard Internet Warranty applies. will not be responsible for any Peeps harmed either by fire, microwave, or any other conceivable or inconceivable method.  Heating Peeps results in a substance that is hotter than the surface of the sun and most likely will result in burns if not handled carefully.  If you do not trust your abilities, consult an adult for required supervision. 

Do not taunt Peeps.  You have been warned.

We weren't the camping family.

Oh you know them... that's the family down the road a piece.  They have the offroad vehicle, well most folks do here in Los Estados Unidos these days but theirs is somehow tricked out.

They have a Roof Rack to pile all their absolutely necessary crap on top, so their spawn would ride comfortably inside. 

No, fellow babies, this was not a Mall Crawler, it saw mud.  My Jeep did as well but here in metro South Florida, that's not happening since it's paved as well as that file floor in Mom's Laundry Room from the Keys to Jupiter, Ocean to Everglades.  Too bad since we just had a bit of a gullywasher of a t-storm and of course I can't get out of the house without getting my ankles wet.

Anyway, that family would take themselves out to the Camping Site and disgorge themselves on Nature.  Not that Nature would want them but hey, there they are. 

I could call them The Griswolds but I'd be pushing the simile a wee bit thin.

In the family that just pulled up in the prime spot under THEIR pine tree, there is bound to be a boy.  Always a boy.  A little awkward in school, which is fine, we all were.  He had a fascination with some of the geekier things in life.  Chemical reactions, reasons for why you get caramel when you heat your sugars up, maybe he understood the Maillard Reaction or perhaps even how to make the 7th grade xmas recipe for peanut brittle when they allowed peanuts in a public school.

I guess I'm telling some of my own story, every blog is somewhat autobiographical.

Anyway, that kid made sure, darn sure that he had two things:
1) Marshmallows
2) Fire.

Once the sun dipped down under the horizon, the campfires lit.  That kid had sticks for the marshmallows and he toasted them and life was good.

But what about Peeps?  They're just marshmallows, right?  Coated in horrendous tasting sanding sugar, but still?  Won't they toast?

You bet your pre-teen bored kid self they toast.  And you were content until you got home.

Why just that bit?  Well you got home and that little bit of edge came out in your personality.  That heat that made your marshmallows taste so wonderful was just heat.  Never mind your kid sister who dipped her marshmallow in the fire and laughed when it burned to a crisp, you were going to do it "Scientificially!"

So, put the thing on a plate.  Mom and Dad are off to work, and you would have your hand on the stop button right?

Plate in place, BEEP BEEP Start!  15 seconds on high right?

Stop asking that kid to do your dirty work you know what you have a Monster Peep!  It is crawling out of the microwave all angry, foamy, and sweet.  But you opened the door and it's cooling rapidly.  That means it's shrinking back to "normal peep size"

So if you want a bit of excitement that only a toasted peep can give you, let the microwave help.  It's a lot easier than hauling the whole family out in the SUV to the middle of the New Jersey Pine Barrens to a camp site!

Here I sit, having a sugar high and a half caff tankard of coffee at my elbow.  Yes, fellow babies, I did nuke a Peep for you. 

But how did I get onto this tear?  It's a non-workout day for me, so being buzzed on coffee is not really a good thing.  Hey, it's at least honest.  You see I was corrupting the next generation.  Yes, passing on the mantle of the extreme peep was my job.  Last weekend I went to the market.  No, not the supermarket, a smaller one near us.  They were closing out Peeps.  Herding them out the door I guess.  And there was a clot of people in front of them.  When I told them what I was going to do with them everyone got excited.  Not everyone knew the story of the huge Peep so I was telling them. 

While no Peeps were harmed in the store... you can see the result. 

Microwave at your own risk.  I have a propane powered stove in the kitchen that will let me toast the little yellow blaggards in the comfort of my own home.  I don't even have to get into the Jeep and drive out to a campsite, but that will be our little secret, won't it?

Have a sweet day!

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