Sunday, July 10, 2022

I went to a joke party last night. Too many people were there; I couldn't even reach the punch line.

It's a sunday and I'm not really theming these "stories".  On the other hand, I have a busy day in the kitchen making jelly and pizza so I'm taking the hint the universe wants to give me.


How can I get in to heaven?

"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday School class.
"NO!" the children all answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"
Again, the answer was, "NO!"

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into Heaven?"
Again, they all answered, "NO!"

"Well," I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"
A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!"

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