Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.

I must have had too many close calls on the bike this week when I was setting aside these little pearls.  Judge?  Cop Stop?  Cop on Break?  Maybe so.  The roads are for the brave!



As a judge I was sentencing criminal defendants when I saw a vaguely familiar face. I reviewed his record and found that the man was a career criminal, except for a five-year period in which there were no convictions.

"Milton," I asked, puzzled, "how is it you were able to stay out of trouble for those five years?"
"I was in prison," he answered. "You should know that—you were the one who sent me there."

"That's not possible," I said. "I wasn't even a judge then."
"No, you weren't the judge," the defendant countered, smiling mischievously. "You were my lawyer."







A cop stops a motorist. "Sir, you were playing a trombone while driving. Do you know how dangerous that is?!"
"No, but if you hum a few bars, I'll fake it."





Two policemen go to a restaurant for lunch

Suddenly, one of the two takes his meal, crosses the street and sits down on the ground next to the road.

The other one is puzzled, but very hungry, so he finishes his lunch.

Later in the car, the curiosity gets the better of him and he asks: “Why did you cross the road and sit on the ground to eat your lunch?”

“Oh, you know I was at the dentist just this morning. I have this tooth that really hurts right here and when I asked the doctor, he said that I should eat on the other side.”