An expensive laxative will give you a run for your money.

Memento Mori.  There was a fashion in the old Roman Empire that had a person follow those who were well off.  He merely reminded those people "Memento Mori" or we all die.  Life Condition is Universal, and it is temporary.

Man, that's a lot more dark on a Saturday Morning than I need to be.  So I'm going to go to the kitchen and have a cookie. 

Thanks Lori!



 3 elderly men are in a nursing home talking about their bodily functions

The first man says “ I have so much trouble going number one. It comes out in spits and sputters and takes forever. I would give anything to have a good pee.”

The second man says “With me, it’s number two. I am so backed up. It’s horrible. I really need to take a good crap.”

The third man nods and says “Well for me, it’s all very regular. At 7AM every morning I do number one like a fountain. It comes out perfectly in flowing stream. And number two also happens at the same time, and my bowels empty completely, as smooth as flowing lava.”

The other two men look at each other, confused and ask “That doesn’t sound bad at all. What’s the problem?”

“The problem,” says the third man, “is that I don’t get out of bed until 9:30!”