Me and my mates are in a band called Duvet. We're a cover band.

 Funny I never really knew what a duvet is until lately.  Call it a comforter and I'll get mine out of the chest for tonight.  It's going to 43.  Someone come down from up North and get your weather.  It is drunk on my lawn.

Smart aleck kid here, just shot himself in the foot if you ask me.  He needs to make better choices.  Mc D's.  YUCK!




Little Johnny's Role Reversal

Little Johnny had just passed his driving test and proudly offered to pick up his mom. She had been out celebrating after landing a major investor for her start-up.

Little Johnny pulled up to the curb with a textbook-perfect stop.His mom climbed into the passenger seat, still buzzing from the evening. As they drove home, she pointed at the glowing golden arches. "Johnny, pull into that McDonald's. I'm starving."

Little Johnny said with a feigned smirk, not taking his eyes off the road. He even pushed his luck a bit and wagged a finger for full effect. "Nope, Mom, as you would say, it's nobody's birthday today, and you are definitely not made of money, and the last time we both checked, money does not grow on trees. So Little Johnny continued, that means mother that we will both eat the perfectly good food at home."



And since I would go to the competition, Here's a little competition for that seat on the Tram.


Problem with new bedroom wardrobe

A lady living on a busy street buys a new wardrobe. 
However, the vibrations caused by a tram passing by loosen the door. 
So the lady complains about the wardrobe. 
A technician arrives, screws the door tightly and loosens it again right in front of his eyes as the tram passes by. 
The technician doesn't understand. 
He screws the door back on and climbs inside so he can observe the problem up close the next time the tram passes. 
Meanwhile, her husband returns home. 
He sees a new closet, opens it, and finds a strange man. 
He rolls up his sleeves and says angrily: "What are you doing here? Seriously, or..." 
The technician answers with concern: "If I tell you the truth, you probably won't believe me. I'm waiting for the tram here".