Why are mummys scared of vacation? They're afraid to unwind.

 The empty seat

It’s the World Cup final, and Tim notices an empty seat right next to the field. He turns to the guy on the other side and asks, “Is anyone sitting there?”

“No,” the man replies, “that seat’s empty.”

Tim is shocked. “That’s unbelievable! Who would leave such a seat unused at the World Cup final?”

The man sighs. “Well, that seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup we haven’t been together since we got married.”

“Oh man, I’m so sorry… but couldn’t you find someone else—a friend, relative, even a neighbor—to come with you instead?”

The man shakes his head. “No. They’re all at the funeral.”



And a variation on the theme -



Foursome on the first tee, and as a funeral procession drove by, one of the golfers took his hat off and paused with his hands clasped. 

His friend said that was nice of you, did you know the person. 

Yes, I did. Married to her for 24 years.