Croton Flower and Propagating Croton

I was talking with a neighbor and got a complement.  "Your yard looks so nice!"

We were talking about placement and variety of plants here, and I said "You know, everything I have a lot of I propagated myself."  After getting a semi-blank stare, "It's all from either seeds or cuttings."

The property was planted well by the prior owner, and we liked what we saw.  So when we settled in, I took the attitude that I would figure out what grows, what works, and what I can make more of.   I have a row of pots in the back by the pool in the sun that has all sorts of cuttings in it.  That row is on "drip feed irrigation" which gets a blast of water for only 10 minutes a day, and it is legal even under water restrictions in South Florida.

All by design.

If you are moving into a place where you can garden on your own and wonder what you can grow, look at your neighbors, and take a general view of what they have.   If you like the stuff, plant it.

When I lived in Horsham, PA, I liked the Rose of Sharon that someone had about a mile away that I saw during my walk, so I grabbed a few seeds.  That Rose of Sharon grew, bloomed, and was planted when I got my own house 10 years later in Chestnut Hill, Philadelphia, PA.

Here I did the same thing with all sorts of things.  Dracena, Screw Palms, Mango (of course), and Podocarpus.  Mango from seed, the rest from cuttings.

But everything here was only green with no color.  I introduced that with Croton.  Now if you are above the freeze line, Zone 8 or so, you really only know Croton as a house plant.  It was a house plant that was a plot point in a British Sitcom called the "IT Crowd" where they brought a palm sized plant I would use as a cutting in their dank basement office and then went back to "Switching things on and off again".

Here, it's everywhere.  It grows fairly slowly even under ideal conditions.

To propagate the stuff from cuttings, you take a hand to arm sized piece cut on a bias, remove the lower leaves, dip in rooting hormone, and place in wet soil.  6 weeks later it should be growing.  I get about 90% success rate.

I have two different sets of the stuff growing in the nursery pots right now because I started them on different months.  They will go in the ground a month from now, minimum.

But the strangest thing I have ever seen is a Croton Flower.  They are tiny things, only about the size of a child's smallest fingernail.  Of all things, this is on one of my original plants that I have butchered and am ignoring to let it recover.  It's little more than a stick with a few leaves and must really like where it is at.

Since I am trying to fill in the front gardens with Croton, I harvest the plants, make cuttings and limit myself to when the plants get waist high.  

For now, that seems to be once every two months, but I have time.

Besides, I still have a podocarpus plant that is chest high that needs to go in when one of the existing plants thins out.

I did say our landscapers are overly aggressive around my plants, didn't I?

The bottom line is that if you see something you like, try to propagate it.  When Lisa across the street was fighting off the cancer that eventually took her, she planted a bottle brush tree.  It's supposed to be able to be propagated but I have had no luck. 

I know, if I don't have luck with it, who knows what I am doing wrong.

But I want some cuttings from Her Tree, so I took some seed and dropped it in my pot with the Basil.  I will look after that every time I make pizza.  Just like Lisa looked after everyone else.

What do bent lines and war torn countries have in common? Crooked Rulers.

 There's just something appropriate there!  Jus' sayin'!

On the other hand, I'm going out to wear some rubber off my tires on the bike in a bit.  Or as I tell people about all three of my sports "I'm in competition with yesterday.  How about you?"

A guy who was born with no arms goes to the doctor one day and the doc says, ‘I have bad news, you are terminally ill and you only have one month left to live.”

The man was a absolutely despondent - but as he walked out of his doctors office, he looked up at the monastery atop the hill near town and thought to himself, I have always wanted to ring the bells in the monastery tower - if I don’t do it now, it will never happen.

So he walks up the path to the monastery and, using his head, ‘knock knock knock’, bangs on the door. A few moments later, a portly monk answers the door and asks how he may be of assistance. The man with no arms explains his plight and asks if there is any way that the monk can help.

The monk pauses, then looks at his watch, looks back at the man - focusing on his lack of arms - and says, ”well, I don’t know how you would do it, but it is almost time to ring the bells so I will give you a shot.”

The man is overwhelmed with joy and can’t stop thanking the monk as the monk leads him to the bell tower, slowly waddling across the yard and up the long spiral staircase to the bell tower. They reach the bell tower with just minutes to spare. The skeptical monk looks at his watch, and when the hour strikes twelves, he says , ‘ tis time to ring the bell, my son’.

Expecting the young man to grab the rope in his teeth in his attempt to ring the bell, the monk is stunned when instead the man leans forward and runs full speed into the bell. And ring the bell the young man did. When he made contact, the bell let out the most glorious ring - a sound so beautiful that the monk was brought to tears. And as the bell rang, it slowly swung backwards from the force of the impact before swinging back. But when it did swing back, it squarely struck the young man, sending him flying out the window and down to the sidewalk just outside of the monastery.

The chubby monk waddled down the stairs as fast as he could - which wasn’t very fast - and when he finally gets around to the side of the monastery where the man had fallen, a passing police officer had already arrived and covered the corpse with a blanket. When he saw the monk running up in a flustered state, he just assumed that the monk knew the victim, so he pulled back the blanket and said, ‘I am sorry to ask this brother, but do you know this man.’

The monk paused for a moment as he looked down at the newly deceased before he said, “Well, I don’t know his name, but his face sure does ring a bell.”

Mafia have boiled a man to death in a industrial pasta cooker. Police are still trying to al dentefy the victim.

I think this line was from Fried Green Tomatoes and came to mind when I read this particular gem but "Intelligence, and Insurance beats Youth and Beauty every time".



An old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. "I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her," and he hangs up.

Now, the son is worried. He calls his sister. She says, "Like hell they’re getting divorced!" She calls their father immediately. "You’re not getting divorced! Don't do another thing. The two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don't call a lawyer, don't file a paper. DO YOU HEAR ME?” She hangs up the phone.

The old man turns to his wife and says, "Okay, they’re both coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.

How Shipping Boxes Taught My Old Dog A New Trick

I am not completely convinced that internet shopping is better than going to a mall or a local store, but I do know Rack prefers it.

When we get things delivered, they have to be inspected by Mr. Dog.  Everything brought into the house gets a thorough sniff.  I have to blame Chewy.com for this particular quirk.  

My own boxes come and they are typically only casually looked at.  However Rack is a very smart dog.  He knows what His Things smell like.  I get a powder that gets mixed with water and ground beef and it makes dog food.  It’s considerably safer than anything in a can or a bag from the market, and I do think commercial dog food is garbage, irrespective of the advertised quality of the food.

There is only so much you can do with the "floor sweepings" that go into pet foods after all.

On the other hand, we do get things from Chewy.  Specifically his flea meds.  They come in an iconic box with a blue side and the company is kind enough to toss in a large dog cookie.  He’s a medium dog so so much the better, he gets multiple treats!  

The large bones they toss in the box can be broken up.  I won’t tell him he’s getting half, only that he can enjoy two treats.  He prefers things that way and can go through the ritual of the hunt at least twice.

These boxes do have a dog cookie scent to them by the time they get to my porch here in South Florida.  A Pro Tip – only send chocolate in the coldest part of the winter.  Otherwise, the “cold” days of December being as warm as mid 80s (30C) will melt things down.

I take out of the box what has arrived, and now I have a dog at my feet staring up at me with twin brown laser beam eyes.   A quick flip of the wrist and the cookie pieces are broken and put back into the box.  The box lid is closed without tape by folding and placed on the floor.

The last time that happened he pushed his snout through the middle of the opening of the top  of the box and had it stuck there.   Dog Logic being what it is, he was jumping on his front feet trying to knock this thing off his face and not having the best time of it.  

Bounce Bounce Rattle Rattle Thump!  Shake Shake Shake Shake Shake!
Bounce Bounce Rattle Rattle Thump!  Shake Shake Shake Shake Shake!

Finally after laughing, we take pity on him and take it off his head.  He has not quite gotten the idea that he is actually ALLOWED to put his foot on the box to hold it in place.   Say what you will about him, but Rack the McNab SuperDog(TM) has impeccable manners.

The fun thing of this is now we have a new ritual.  It keeps his mind going and anyone who knows a herding breed dog knows that you truly have to work to keep their mind occupied.  If not, bedlam will ensue.

So toss a cookie in the box and fold the lid back in place.   Should last a minute or two of fun before he gets bored with it and wants to deal with a different shiny object.

What do you call somebody with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

 This just has to be another Bill.  It really does not sound like something I would do.  But well ya know how these things are, they get "fictionalized".

Still a good story...




A modern day ghost story

Bill was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a fierce rain storm.

The night was rolling on, and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few meters ahead of him.

Suddenly through the swirling rain Bill saw a car slowly coming towards him.  And as it drew level with him, it stopped.

Desperate for shelter and without really thinking about what he was doing, Bill got into the back seat of the car and closed the door.  That was when he realized there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't even on!

Mysteriously and soundlessly, the car started moving slowly forward. Bill looked at the road and saw a curve approaching.  Now he was scared, and he began to fear for his life.  But just before he reached the curve, a ghostly hand appeared through the window of the car, and turned the steering wheel.

Bill, paralyzed with terror, watched how the hand appeared every time they came to a curve.

When he saw the lights of a pub down the road, Bill gathered all his bravery and strength, jumped out of the car, and ran to to the pub.

Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and asked for two shots of scotch.  Shaking and half crying, he began telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just been through.  A silence enveloped everybody when they realized he was not drunk, but was for real.

About 10 minutes later, two guys walked into the same pub. They were also wet, and were out of breath. Looking around and seeing Bill sobbing at the bar, one said to the other, "Hey Bruce… that's the idiot who got in the car while we were pushing it."

Never date a radiologist, they will see right through you.

Here in South Florida it's a beautiful day.  The snowbirds have not crashed the party too hard yet, and it's a pure blue sky.  Clear as a bell. 

So why am I hearing some booming?

 

 
An unhappy couple go to a marriage counselor

He tries to work with them, but they absolutely refuse to talk about anything in front of each other. The counselor gets fed up, gets his bass out, and starts playing it.

The couple sit there looking at each other dumbfounded. The counselor keeps playing. After several minutes of this, the couple starts making small talk with each other. Pretty soon they're deep in conversation.

At the end of the hour, the counselor puts down the bass and the couple turn to him, and say “Doctor, that was amazing! We haven't talked like that in years! How did you do it?"

“Ah" says the counselor "people always talk during the bass solo.”

Inline Skating or Cycling and Ceramic Bearings in Sport Equipment or How Some 30 Year Old Advice Is Still True Today

Once upon a time I was having a conversation with Tom.  Tom was on the Inline Skating team in Philadelphia at the time, and Fairmount Park was an amazing place to get in a workout and get tips from others in your sport of choice.

My sport of choice was Inline Skating because I had become too muscular through weightlifting to be able to run the kind of distances my body really wanted.  Inline Skating offered a way to get in that cardio buzz everyone knows and loves without shocking your knees into a powder.  It is non-impact, as long as you don’t fall.

The conversation was about Skate Bearings.  It stuck with me.  You see there were three kinds of bearings available.  There were also different grades of bearings that were more or less processed to be smoother or less smooth.  The smoother the bearing, the faster they would spin.  In those days the top end was something called an ABEC 5 bearing, and today you can find vendors who would sell things like an ABEC 9 bearing – which does not really mean anything since the official scale only goes up to 5.  Marketing garbage.

Anyway, Tom was telling me a few things, at the time a new skater who was starting to get better at this sport than I was when I started.  I was beginning to transition to Distance Skating which was what he did and he noticed.  He also noticed that I blazed through a puddle just before parking on the bridge over the Schuylkill River overlooking Boathouse Row near the Art Museum.

Truly a beautiful spot.

First and foremost, never get your wheels wet.  Never.  Water will displace your lubricating oil or grease, and rust out the steel in the bearings.

Then it was a discussion on the construction of the bearings themselves.  Back in those dark ages, 1995 or so, bearings for the Inline Skater were almost always made of steel.  They would call it “Stainless Steel”, and I think the quotes had to be there because Stainless Steel won’t normally rust.  So if your bearings rusted, they were either garbage or they were not really a high quality Stainless.

There were other materials used but for a mid distance, non Sponsored skater, they were a rare and expensive thing.

Tom spoke of “Ceramic Bearings”, and back then they were what we now call Hybrid Ceramic because “Pure” Ceramic Bearings were almost impossible to source.

Hybrid Ceramic bearings were a world apart from even the best stainless bearings.  They were constructed from an inner ring, outer ring, and 7 ceramic ball bearings set in between usually with a teflon or nylon crown to keep the bearings separated from each other.  These days those expensive high end Stainless bearings are running about a quarter a piece.  $20 for the set if you can find them in bulk.  This is the basis for the attitude from some Currently Sponsored Skaters that it is not worth your time to clean and re-lube your bearings.  But back when a single bearing cost about $5 and a full set of 20 was as much as $100, the old timers were absolutely rigid about keeping things dry and lubed.

These days, a Hybrid Ceramic bearing tended to be made of better quality steel for the two rings that the races were made from in a conventional one.  I had gotten caught in a downpour once and radar told me that it would continue to rain for at least an hour.  I was 2 miles/3 Km from the car so I skated slow and hoped for the best for my Hybrids.  I was lucky.  When I got home, I immediately washed out the set, dried, relubed the bearings and am still able to use them a year later.  They are a little slower than the newer set I tried yesterday but not by much.

But about those “Pure” Ceramic Bearings?  Tom never saw a set.  He got out of the sport before they became available.

At this point, the costs have dropped on “Pure” Ceramic bearings to the point where I could justify getting a full set.  20 bearings for $65 or so on a sale.  My own Sponsorship came and went just after the turn of the century and the collapse of the sport so these are on my own dime.

Pure Ceramic Bearings are where all parts are ceramic.  The outer race and inner race rings are ceramic.  All 7 ball bearings and the crown are ceramic.  White Zirconium Oxide (ZrO2) if you must know, and there are other materials used in this market.  

Pure Ceramic Bearings don’t need lube to keep them going, and you can de-grease them to get rid of the road grit, then run them through the dishwasher (if you can get away with it) so getting caught out 2 miles from the car in a downpour won’t kill them.

They are lighter, but for an Inline Skater that isn’t really important.  But for the most important part, they are more durable, lasting as much as 20 times longer than a steel bearing set.

I finally got my hands on a set and I will say I am impressed.  They glide smoothly and silently, and strangely they sound like a wind chime when you hit them just so on the pavement.  It implies that within the Skate Frame, they’re moving around a bit, but I am still figuring out how to use these things.

Mind you I have to rework my skate boots.  They are brand new, and there’s a spot inside the boot itself that has to be heat-molded to my own ankle geometry.  That’s another story for another day.

But Tom, you were right.  You were always right when it came to Skate Technology, and while I’m still in the sport, and it has changed, you helped me in ways you will never know.

On Yer Left!

Why do most employees get sick on work days? Because of their weekend immune system.

 Hmm... that can be seen a bunch of ways.  Oh well, it's meant to be "silly".

And since we are on bodily functions...

The Polite Way to Pee

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite'

What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'

Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'

'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?

Johnny said: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.'

The teacher fainted

Little known fact, before the crowbar was invented… Most crows drank at home.

I'm finding my like of absurd and the strange caught my eye this morning.  So let's see, Policemen, Blondes, and Detective work... what can go wrong?

 

 
The 3 detectives

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”

The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture shows his profile.”

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”

The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?! Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it’s a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” He quickly adds” . . . think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “Hmmmm . . . the suspect wears contact lenses.”

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that’s an interesting answer . . . wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.”

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. “Wow! I can’t believe it…it’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”

“That’s easy,” the blonde replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear!"

How To Test Your Bike Computer Or An Excuse To Get Ice Cream

"I already have one sport, it's mine, I'm "Elite" at it, I don't need another."

"Go Ahead, You already have the bike and you're climbing the walls from the injury..."

It went on from there.  I had finished an inline skate marathon, my fifth, and then broke my collarbone.  Again.  Second time on that one. 

Bad.  Etc.  I'm not going into that.

My doctor, my friends, my Orthopedic Surgeon benched me.  Again.

Into the healing process, I was told by the Ortho, a very good one truth be told, that I can begin to exercise again.

More like "I can see you really want to get started again but no skating ... yet."

A back and forth and he said "See if you can bike".

With admonishments to "Be Careful for crying out loud!" from him, and everyone else, I started to bike. 

Now Back In The Day when I was a sponsored inline skater, the Bikers were a problem, to put it kindly.  They resented anyone on THEIR trail.  Shaddap, ok?  Besides little man-child I'll throw you and that toy you are zooming around into the Schuylkill River...

I'll tone it down, that was a generation ago.   I got the dusty old bike out of the shed, tuned it up as best I could, and got back on the thing.  Oh sure, I did it, but I felt like I "Let Down The Team". 

But I got better at it.  Then I realized I was overpowering the bike.  I got a new bike because the old one was hurting my knees and having gone through sports medicine training and rehab, I surely did not want to do that.  I knew the symptoms intimately.

"Besides, knowing you, you will want to build the thing to fit you."  I was told.

I briefly considered building one from scratch, ordering parts and wrenching them all together.  No, that would be too complex.  The technology of bikes had changed as much as had that of Inline Skating. 

I can give you chapter and verse on why you want a Ceramic 608 bearing on your skates instead of steel, or at least a Hybrid Ceramic, and where both fit in the pecking order.

I could not tell you a bit about how to properly adjust a derailleur, let alone install a front, a back, and route cables.  I had to leave that to the pros.  Here I am six months together and I am still getting things "settled" on that bike.

Complaining about that process got me "You are handy, figure it out, besides, you will want to get some things for the bike anyway, so work up an order."

Yeah well right.  Mirrors, lights, clamps for flashlights, seat, mount for the GoPro, travel bag with more lights, mounts for thermos bottles.  Yes everything was plural.  I had about as much light coming off that bike as I did my old Motorcycle.

Summer I biked.  Too hot to do so after sunrise, this is Florida after all, I basically lit the road up with a Lane Finder light plus twin headlights.  All before dawn.

When I was given the all clear from the Ortho with "Go live your life", I started skating again, but kept the cycling.

My sport watch and heart monitor told me all this cardio was helping my resting heart rate drop into the mid 50s.  Not bad...

As I was riding I wanted to know how fast I was going so I would look at that watch - and veer into traffic lanes. 

I needed a bike computer.  I needed to know my speed while going.  Runkeeper synced up with the sport watch but I know my own athletic prowess well enough to know that when the little man on Runkeeper was telling me that I was biking at 18MPH, and my heart rate was 72, he was wrong about the HR.

The bike computer arrived and since I wanted it only for my speed, I did not need a connection to the bike itself.  GPS is quite good enough.

Since the bike computer attached to the frame of the bike with neoprene "rubberbands", I disconnected it and told the story to those around me.

It was Sunday, I was going to break training since I had ridden a nice solid 20 miles.  Burned off anything I had for breakfast and lunch, we could do anything we wanted for dinner.

Ice Cream!  For Dinner!  YAY!  Carbs!!!!

Yeah well just not when I have caffeine in me.  I'm intense enough with caffeine and sugar feeding off each other.

We took the little bike computer with us, turned it on and set it on the dashboard.  The car had a digital speedo on the dash, and my computer sitting there.   They weren't perfectly in sync, there was a lag on the bike computer but it proved to me that they were accurate.  Within a few seconds.

Great! 

When we got the ice cream, super premium soft serve with caramel, whipped cream, peanuts, and a cherry on top, the computer sat there and powered down to a rest.   Just as expected after fifteen minutes, it considered it enough time and the display went dark.  I turned it back on just as we were leaving and the workout was still in progress.

So we did a tour of Fort Lauderdale, the industrial area around the Airport, up to the hospital, and through downtown to the house.

I had a winner.  I also figured out that the computer was accurate, enough, for use.

While I am flying up and down the main street in my town, I can glance down and see that the numbers are changing. 

In fact the only quirk I found was that when I peaked over my speed limit I set of 20 mph, the thing beeped at me and told me that I was going 32.4kph.  Doing the math in my head, it's a programming error on their part.  If you select "imperial measurements" everything should be in imperial.  MPH, feet, inches.  Meh.  I can live with it. 

I set the speed limit higher.  The only speed limit I break is when I bike through the school zones.  15mph is about where I cruise when I'm taking it easy.

Better off that I am biking later and that school zone limit is not an issue, huh?