Friday, December 10, 2010

Some Blonde Jokes

A friend sent me some Blonde Jokes.   If you're blonde read them very slowly.  If you're not maybe you'll get a chuckle out of them...

Two blondes  living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you  think is farther away...  Florida or the moon?' 
The other blonde turns and says  'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida   ?????'
A blonde  pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it  died. 
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is  idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He  replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor' 
She asks, 'How  often do I have to do  that?'
A police  officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he  could see her license.  She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys  would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license  and then today you expect me to show it to  you!' 

There's  this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another  blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I  get to the other side?' 
The second blonde looks up  the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the  other  side.' 
A gorgeous  young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her  body hurt wherever she touched it. 
'Impossible!'  says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger,  pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her  elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and  screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.  Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor  said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you? 
'Well,  no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.' 
'I thought  so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'

1 comment:

  1. Hi Bill, It's Emilio. Your category box didn't have a name column and I didn't want to open an account with google, That's why I'm id-ing myself this way. Anyway, Got one for you too. My daughter told me this one and she's a blonde, but she loves blonde jokes.

    Blonde Paint Job

    A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

    "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
    The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
    The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

    A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
    "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."