Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because if they lived by the bay they'd be bagels.

That title is a one liner I found somewhere but it reminds me of a business meeting I had with a client in NYC.

This rather intelligent woman I worked with had a comment that everyone took as a mental lapse, but weirdly it has stuck with me over the years.  So I will share this ear-worm of a story with you.  Maybe you can figure out that mental process.

We were sitting at a window with a great view of the bridges leading over to Brooklyn when she piped up about her meal.

"You know!  I can tell these are Sea Scallops!
These are from the sea and the sea is big!
The Bay Scallops are from the bay and the bay is small!"

The table looked around at each other for a solid Ten Count and then the conversation just started over.  She never really followed it up with any further explanation, just sat there and looked proud of it.

As silly as that sounds, yes, that is how I remember sizes of Scallops - not that I tend to get them since they're so expensive.

Sweet lady, I guess you had to be there!


Three tortoises go on a picnic...

Three tortoises, Mick, Alan and Les, decide to go on a picnic.

So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches.

The trouble is the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.
When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Les Give me the bottle opener."

"I didn't bring it," says Les. "I thought you packed it."
Mick gets worried, He turns to Alan, "Did you bring the bottle opener??"
Naturally Alan didn't bring it.

So they're stuck ten miles from Home without a bottle opener.
Mick and Alan beg Les to go back for It, but he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches.

After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise Lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees.

So Les sets off down the road at a steady pace.

Twenty days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Alan are starving, but a promise is a promise.

Another five days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise.

Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a Sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Les pops up from behind a rock and shouts........
"I KNEW IT!......I'M NOT GOING!"