People who make awful jokes get sent to the punitentiary.

It's a two-fer of shorter jokes.  I have to say though that that first one is a little catty story that had me laughing out loud.

 

 A man goes on trial for calling the Duchess a pig. 

The judge finds him guilty of slander and explains that if he ever calls the Duchess a pig again he’ll be severely punished. 

The man then says to the judge, “If I can’t call the Duchess a pig, would I still get punished for calling a pig Duchess?”

The judge publicly rules that he can indeed call a pig Duchess.

On his way out of the courtroom, the man walks by the royal plaintiff, tips his hat, and says “Good day, Duchess.”

 

Our booking office had three phones. 
One day during lunch, I was responsible for answering all of them. 
It was a constant repeat of “May I help you?” or “Will you hold?” 
I guess I got confused because I surprised one man on the other end of the line when I answered his call with, “May I hold you?”