Saturday, February 12, 2022

My doctor said I have a bad case of the sequels. So then I asked him "What happens next?"

 I have heard the phrase Fake It Until You Make It many times.  I guess that is the flip side of Practice Makes Perfect but it is quite cynical. 

The incredible trainer

It was a busy day at the bar. A lot of costumers were enjoying their breakfast. Until the door slammed open.
A shady trench coat with an almost as shady wearer appeared in the door frame, a big bulge in both pockets. He approached the counter, as silent as the entire bar, exchanging glares with the customers.
He made a straight line to the barman, to whom he then asked "I am hungry. I can't pay a cappuccino and a croissant with money. But... I can show you something amazing. Deal?"

The barman pondered the offer for a second and then replied "Well, if you can entertain my customers, you have a deal, sir."

The man opened his right pocket, to take out a tiny replica of a piano. From the left one, he took out an hamster, placing both on the counter. the hamster, after sniffing the keys for a second, sat on the little stool in front of the piano, after which he started hitting the keys with incredible proficiency. The witnesses in the bar couldn't believe their senses. the hamster was playing the moonlight sonata.

At first, people believed it must have been a trick. They tried to ask the hamster for different songs, and if it was in the hamster's repertoire, he delivered with ease. He knew some ragtime, classical music, even some pop songs. People were ecstatic, so the barman was more than happy to gift the man a croissant, a cappuccino, some liquor, a slice of cake, anything to keep that wonderful hamster performing in his bar.

After a while the man was satisfied of the food provided, so he left, saying that maybe he'll come back again for another show.

The voice that the man could come again spread in the town, and the following days the bar was brimming with customers. Nobody saw him the following day, neither the second, nor the following week, until...

The door of the bar was flung open again, the same shady trench coat, only with an ulterior bulge in the chest pocket. The scene was the same as last time, only that the people had to make a corridor to let the man reach the counter. Before the man could say anything, the barman said "If you can put up a performance here again , you can eat whatever you want. On the house".

Without saying anything, the man took out the hamster and the piano from the pockets, but then he also extracted a frog from the front pocket of the coat.

The hamster wiggled his paws and then looked at the frog. The frog stood on her back legs, a tiny mike in her hands. A little nod to the hamster, and the performance begun. The hamster played a new yet familiar song, and the frog started to sing, with the voice of a talented star "Do you ever feel... like a plastic bag...". She started to dance on the stage while she was singing, an awesome rendition of ' Katy Perry - Firework '. The hamster kept playing the melody to perfection, much to the cheer and amusement of the customers.

"Boom boom boom. Even brighter than the moon moon moon!" the frog ended the song, stopping to jump and landing back on four legs like nothing happened. the crowd went absolutely bananas. 

A man, with a curious pair of mustaches, ran to the trench coat man and said " Sir I am a talent scout. I'd like to purchase your frog. I offer you a million, right here right now, in cash, for her." He opened a suitcase full of money right in his face. "Hmm, five millions and she's yours" the trainer replied. "three, last offer" the scout shouted. "Deal" the trainer agreed. Two muscular body guards reached them, with a contract, already filled, and two other suitcases full of money. After they hastily completed the transaction and they ensured the money had been deposited at the bank, they rushed out with the frog to never be seen again

The barman, shocked by the scene, then asked the man "Sorry to say it man, but you got scammed. Three millions? That frog is like an endless gold mine. They are going to make 20 times, maybe 40 times more money than that..."

"Nah, the frog was in playback" the trainer admitted " It's just that the hamster is also good at ventriloquism"

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