I had a version of this told to me back in the dark days of when I was in the dorms in college. It's been a while but here's how we said it, followed by today's offering.
A Person received a knock at the door. Answering it he saw a person with a telegram (should tell you how old the joke was).
The receiver asked if the message could be sung to him, but the person at the door insisted that he was not able to do that and did not think it was appropriate. After all, he was able to read that message and knew full well what was happening.
After a lot of begging and cajoling, the delivery person started singing:
"Your sister Rose is dead...."
A Farmer leaves his farm in the care of the farmhand
A farmer has to travel for a week, so he leaves his farm in the care of his farmhand. Before he goes, he instructs him: 'Do not call me for every little issue or problem you have. Only if it's a big issue, contact me!'
Four days pass and the farmhand calls him at his hotel: "Boss, the broom has been snapped in half. So what do I do?"
The farmer is annoyed. "Really? Is that your idea of an emergency? Just buy a new one!! But I'm curious, how did you manage to break a broom?"
"Well, The firetruck drove over it."
"WHAT! What was a firetruck doing on my farm!"
"Your house was alight, and they were putting out the fire."
The farmer needed to sit down.
"How...how did my house catch fire?"
"Well sir, your wife died two days ago and there was a wake. However, one of the candles fell when no one was looking."
The farmer is silent for a few seconds.
"And you have nothing positive to tell me?"
"Well sir, your COVID test results came back and guess what!!"