Sunday, October 2, 2022

Vending machines kill more people than sharks. I've never even seen a shark use a vending machine.

I am sure that there is someone out there that has an exam soon.  So think of it this way, you could be the Dr and see all these... patients all day!



A proctologist was losing too much money. Her accountant came over for a consultation and quickly spotted the problem.

“You’re spending far too much on staffing. You’ve simply got to reduce your labor costs in order to survive.”

The proctologist puzzled over how to cut down. Given her line of work, she had to pay a premium to her staff, and with all the prep work before procedures, she needed to keep a lot of workers on hand. Still pondering what to do, she decided to ask her engineer friends, Jane and Michael, if they had any ideas.

The two heard her out, put their heads together, and confidently told her not to worry. A short time later, they presented her with a new prototype: a high-powered vacuum that could safely and hygienically remove any waste from a patient in under five seconds.

On her accountant’s next visit, the proctologist was relaxing in her office with a cheek-splitting grin. Jane and Michael were busy installing their revolutionary devices throughout the clinic. Her appointment book was full and turn-around on patients was lightning fast, even with fewer nurses.

“I think I’ve solved the staffing costs issue,” she crowed.

“After all,” she said, gesturing fondly to Jane and Michael, “with friends like these, who needs enemas?”

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