While there is a certain kind of cynical logic in that topic, all I have to say is go brush your teeth, frequently!
After a party, a guy finds himself invited to the home of a girl he's just met for the first time. She shows him into the living room, and tells him to make himself at home while she goes to the kitchen to make them some drinks.
He notices a cute jar on a bookshelf, and picks it up to take a closer look. Just at that moment the girl walks back in, so he asks her, "What's this?"
"Oh," she says, "My dad's ashes are in there." .
"I'm terribly sorry," he says, "I didn't know..."
"It bothers me and mom too," she says, "my old man is just too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray.
And since that one is a bit on the short side, you can keep warm with this one.
A rookie cop is at an intersection.
While he’s at the red light, he sees a street sign that reads: “WATCH FOR PEDESTRIANS”
A few seconds later he notices a lady walking across the street along the zebra crossing.
He honks his horn to stop her, rolls down his window and asks: “Ma’am, are you a pedestrian?”
The woman, confused at the purpose of the cop’s question, replies “yes, officer.”
The cop proceeds to take out his pen and notepad and promptly asks “So, which part of Pedestria are you from?”