What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie.

May as well start that off with a cooking Dad Joke, right?  I'll be in the kitchen at some point making the neighborhood smell of coffee since I have to roast some today.  

Busy day huh?  You too?

So I quote this sort of this thing frequently.  "Technically Right".  They're statements that well, they are right, but if you consider them, they've gone quite off the rails. 

For example, "All Mushrooms are Edible.  Some are only edible once, some make a tasty sauce for your meal, and others make you stare at a wall and see your god for a night."





I have a fondness for "technically true" jokes, like these:

• Did you know that the average person has an above-average number of legs? After all, most people have two legs, while a few have none.
• Did you know that if you shuffle a deck of cards, the resulting order has likely never existed before in the history of the universe?
• Humanity will not go extinct in anyone's lifetime.
• If all the people in the world held hands around equator, most of them will drown.
• If your parachute doesn't open while skydiving, you have rest of your life to fix it.
• Give a man a candle and he will have light for a day. Set a man on fire and he will have light for the rest of his life.
• While we say atmosphere on Venus is poisonous, it has still killed less humans than Earth's atmosphere.
• I was once the youngest person on earth.
• Ever notice how the word bed looks like a bed? But it doesn't work if you're dyslexic and read it in a mirror.
• You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need one if you wanna go twice.
• A blue whale is so large that if you laid one on a basketball court the game would be over.