Why is declaring yourself the monarch of the moon a bad idea? You'd have no air apparent.

Getting over a cold means you lose time.  I am putting this out there early but I swear I lost a day in there somewhere!  So have a triple-play.



I saw an adopted kid on the street.
I walk up to him and ask him "Are you adopted?"
He replies "Yes, I am what gave me away"
I responded "Your parents"



A 70 year old man wants to marry a 25 year old woman.
His lawyer is trying to talk him out of it. After an hour of arguing with his client for the lawyer says, “Do whatever you want, but I warn you, these May/December weddings often end in death!”
That stops the older man for a second. He stops, ponders, and finally says, “Well - If she dies, she dies!”



A girl and a boy are locked out of their house. They can't find any way in, so the girl leans forward and starts talking to the door lock... "Hey door lock you're looking nice today, why don't you go ahead and let us in."

The door magically unlocks itself. The boy is shocked, "how did you do that?!?"
The girl replies, "communication is KEY."