Why won’t crabs & clams share their food? They’re shellfish.

 Mmmm Shellfish!

Having lived with parrots for many years, I have to say that they definitely do pick up habits.  Mischevious habits, like nipping the dog and well you will see.




 A woman goes to a pet store to buy a parrot.

The clerk who sells it to her says that it used to live in a brothel that got shut down after a raid by law enforcement, and they picked it up for a song at a police auction. He warns that the bird might have picked up some bad language, but the woman says that if it has, she'll teach it not to say those things sooner or later.

The woman takes the parrot home. As it looks around, taking in its new surroundings, it says "New house, new madam."

Then the woman's daughters come home. When it sees them, the parrot says "New house, new madam, new girls."

Then the woman's husband comes home. On seeing him, the parrot says "New house, new madam, new girls, but the same old customers. Good to see you again, John."