Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Attack of the French Onion Soup

Hey!  Lets make French Onion Soup!

Warning:  This may be contrary to the Geneva Convention!

That was where it started.   I had some onions that were getting a bit old and instead of wasting the things, I wanted to make soup.   I have a loaf of crusty italian bread that was a day old, and all the ingredients save the Cheese for the top.   I got into the car and we went to Whole Foods for a bit of gourmet shopping.

When we got back, the marathon of cooking begun.   There's only one problem.  When you make French Onion Soup, you have to slice up some onions.  French or otherwise, they still need to be sliced.   I thought why not just tear into it and then put the chunks into the food processor.

These were onions the same way that peppers are related to Mace.  As in Lets Mace this Person because they're a criminal Mace.   My house now reeks of burning sulphur that was disgorged from these evil white devils.   The onions in the food processor put out so much sulphur that I was distracted from the task of chopping them and instead ended up with a slurry of Onion Puree.  That slurry had to be browned in a saucepan with a quarter cup of butter and then put into the crock pot.  While that was cooking, your eyes are running, your nose running and you're running around opening windows.   In the middle of a cold snap in South Florida you're letting all your expensive electrically heated air blow out because it is now resembling something you'd do in crowd control.  Oh there's no vent in the kitchen either, so you open up the door just to make sure the house would be inhabitable.

Quick, stir the onions, letting loose another cloud of brimstone, trip over the dog and start to pour 7 cups of water into the crock pot with 8 servings of "Better than Boullion" to make the beef stockish looking stuff.  Now that you've got the beef stock all smooth, pour the evil onions into the crock pot and then put the lid on.

Grab a beer from the refrigerator and go out on the front porch and let the air clear.   The dog will follow and its a good thing she will because she's whining from the burning in her eyes too.

I'll let you know how it turned out when it comes out of the crock pot in 2 hours... it cooks at high for four.  Two hours into the ordeal, my eyes are still watering and I'm sitting in an open window!  I think maybe I'll stick to sweet things...  this was punishing!

The recipe at Cooks.Com I followed is at the link, but here is the text for convenience sake:

2 lb. onions (about 5 c. sliced)
1/4 c. butter
7 c. hot water
8 beef bouillon cubes (or 1 can consomme & 7 bouillon cubes)
Toasted croutons
Grated Parmesan cheese
Hazmat Suit
Emergency Eye Wash

Peel onions and slice thin; brown lightly in butter in frying pan. Pour sauteed onion slices into crock pot. Add water, bouillon cubes and consomme. Set cooker on low setting and cook for 7 to 8 hours. Or cook on high 3 to 4 hours. Serve with croutons and Parmesan cheese.

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