TEN PEEVES THAT DOGS HAVE ABOUT HUMANS

Sure, it is one of those spam messages that you get from friends, but I chuckled at this one... maybe you will too.  Thanks, Kevin, here goes:

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1.  Blaming your gas on me.....
not funny.... not funny at  all!!!

2.  Yelling at me for barking.

I'M A DAMN  DOG!

3.  'Taking me for a walk, then
not letting me check stuff  out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4.  Any trick that  involves balancing
food on my nose. Stop it!

5.  Any haircut that  involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we chew your stuff
up when  you're not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch  throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo! What
a proud moment for the top of  the food chain!

7. Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then  acting
surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

8. Getting  upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven't  quite mastered that handshake thing yet

9.  Dog sweaters.
Hello  ??? Haven't you noticed the fur?

10.  How you act disgusted  when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth. You're just  jealous.

Now lay off me on some of these things.
We both know who's  boss here!
You don't see me picking up your poop, do you?