Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Some Random Thoughts from a Profile - Humor

I was chatting with someone the other day online and happened to glance at the profile.  It was one of those long walls of text and I thought here is someone as wordy as I am.  

It was a series of random thoughts and by the time I found myself at the end I was chuckling at them.   I borrowed them and here they are.  Of course what good is a list of random rants without a swipe at Wal-Mart to start off with...

Wal-Mart. Lowering prices and American standards for years!
-Ever think that they are the reason kids are more obese than ever??
-They have great low prices on all your favorite junk food so you can buy twice as much!  Could there be a connection?
-If Wal-Mart has low prices "always" why did they need to begin a program of "Price matching" competitors. Always means always and they should remove that from their stores and trucks because apparently it is not true! Or change it to "Always, unless you find out we are liars" !!!

These are some things that go through my mind when the power goes out:

-If garlic makes food so great, why is garlic breath bad?
-Ever been in a parking garage and looked up and thought about how much weight is sitting above your head?
-Why do so many people get so attached to their cell phones??(they have so many pictures together with it!!)
-What happened to A and B size batteries?
-Ever sit at a red light and think how much trust we put into those lights, that they are not green on all sides one of the times you are flying through?
-What does it mean "Someone left the cake out in the rain" ?
-What would people use if the word "dozens" didnt exist?
-If only the good die young, why would I want to be good?

Things that annoy me:
-Car alarms that have to beep or honk the horn when armed or disarmed. Especially at 2 in the morning.
-People who dont use turn signals when 4 others are waiting for them to pass.
-Overuse of hand sanitizer. Really?? I know people that insisted it be used when they were required to use a finger print scanner to clock in/out. But have no problem putting their finger on the elevator buttons. Who knows what was on the last persons finger that touched that! I never use the stuff.

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