Two Ex Wife Jokes

Ok, sure, it's an old topic, the Ex.  You can always change the pronouns if you don't like Ex Wife Jokes, but here are two short ones for you.


Drunken mistake
A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated there, walked over to her and began kissing her passionately.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.
He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable fool!" she screamed.
"That's funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her!"


Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. 

One evening, after the honeymoon, he was assembling some loads for an upcoming hunt.
His wife was standing there at the bench watching him.

After along period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit hunting, shooting, hand-loading ammo, and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns and boat".

Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
”There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”
"Ex wife!", she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"

”I wasn't “