My New Year revolution is to never use autocorrect again.

Remember, fellow babies!  Always be very very specific when you give directions. 

I knew someone who thought that the blue lines on a map were secret roads and could be used as short cuts.  Tell that to someone who tried to drive on the Delaware River!



Something for that cough


The pharmacist needed a short break from the register so he left his son in charge: “just put on the coat and act like you know what you are doing. Ring up the sales as listed. What ever you do, DO NOT give anyone advice. I’ll be back soon”

After a few minutes, a man approached the “pharmacist” for some advice.

“I need something for this cough. It has kept me up all night, I’m exhausted. My wife says I’m keeping her up, as well”.

The man appeared quite tired, and the pharmacists’ son knew ‘just the thing’ to give the ailing man.

“Here you go sir. Take two tablespoons of this, and it will cure what ails you.” He rang up the elixir, and the man thanked him, and immediately took a swig.

About a half hour later, the pharmacist/father returned to the pharmacy.

“How did things go?”, he asked his son, “I see you made some sales,”

“Father, all went well. I did, however, give away some advice, though. An extremely tired man came in with a terrible cough. I couldn’t help but giving him something that would work”

“What did you tell him?” The pharmacist worried...

“I told him two tablespoons of cod liver oil would cure that cough immediately.”, replied the son.

“COD LIVER OIL!! that’s no cough elixir! That will do nothing for his cough!!” The pharmacist began to break a sweat, knowing surely he would be hearing from this irate customer in the next few days..

“Father, you are incorrect! Over there, through the window! See the man, holding on tight to the light pole with his legs crossed tight? That joker ain’t gonna cough any time soon!!”