I accidentally swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles. My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

 And speaking of disaster, when you have friends like these guys, you have to expect a disaster!

 

 
Two friends in a pub one says:

"Hello John hows your brother Brian?"
"He died Alf" "Oh that is terrible how did he die?"
"Well he was driving his car and he slammed on the brakes with such force he got catapulted out of the roof through my second floor bedroom window and landed on the bed"
"Oh that's a terrible way to go "
Says Alf "Nah that didn't kill him he bounced off the bed up in to the attic managed to grab the water tank and as he grabbed it he fell back down with the tank and 1000 gallons of water and all"
"Oh dear that’s a terrible way to go"
says Alf "Nah that didn't kill him he staggered over to the wardrobe tried to haul himself up onto his feet and it fell on top of him"
"Oh I am sorry mate that’s a terrible way to go"
"Nah that didn't kill him, he staggered out to the stairs fell down the stairs and took out every banister on the way"
"That's a terrible way to go"
"Nah that didn't kill him, he crashed head first into the tv and the fish bowl smashed all over him with water going in and electrocuting him”.
“Oh that’s terrible way to go”
“Nah that didn’t kill him..”
"Hang about, what did kill him then???"
"i shot him Alf"
"you shot him John?? What on earth for?"
"I had to, he was wrecking the place!”