What building in your town has the most stories? The public library.

 If your town does not have a vibrant public library, you probably should move.  After all, how else will we learn once the zombie apocalypse happens and your internet goes dark?


Vintage comedy

At a wine merchant, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunkard, with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position.

The director of the winery wondered how to send him away. He gave him a glass to drink.

The drunk tried it and said: "It's a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade but acceptable”.

"That's correct”, said the boss.

Another glass: "It's a cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for finest results”.

"Correct”.

A third glass: ''It's a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive”, calmly said the drunk.

The director was astonished.

He winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something.

She left the room and came back in with a glass of "wee".

The alcoholic tried it.

"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant and - if I don't get the job - I'll name the father”