Age is not a number. It is clearly a word.

I really can commiserate with Paddy here.  I was outside playing sprinkler tech before the heat went from onerous to punishing, and there's always something to do with this house of cards!



 
Paddy is known to be a hard working lumberjack. He fells one hundred trees a day all with his axe.

Watching him cut a swathe through the trees one day the foreman tells him, "Paddy, you're a wild man with that axe, but it's time to modernise. You should go get yourself a nice chainsaw. You'll triple your work easily and it'll be easier on the body."

Paddy thinks about it s few days before deciding to take the advice. He heads into town to the hardware store and buys himself a new chainsaw.

The next day he only manages to fell eighty trees. "Well, that's to be expected," he thinks. "I'm still getting used to it."

The day after he's only managed fifty trees. Paddy decides to tough it out until he gets the hang of it. The third day, only thirty.

That's the end of that then. Paddy takes the chainsaw back to the store and complains that its not working.

"That's odd," the salesman says. "Let me have a look then." He takes the chainsaw, pulls the start cord, and it roars to life.

"Holy fooken shite!" Paddy shouts. "What the hell is that noise?!"