I've got some good jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over people's heads.

 Hey, I have been living my life so that things I say are over other's heads so why not this huh?

Time for a little Distro Hopping.  Playing around with a beautiful laptop (i7, 16gb, 500gb, and too many pixels for me to read) and need a new challenge.  I cut my teeth on Red Hat Enterprise Linux, and while Debian is smooth as silk, I want "different".

Anyway....





 A businessman calls up and asks the housekeeper if he can talk to his wife.

"Señor, it breaks my heart to have to tell you this, but your wife is right now engaged in making passionate love with your best friend."

"What?! They're doing what?! Listen, I want you to do this right now, and I don't want you to hesitate. I want you to go to my bedroom closet and I want you to find my gun. And I want you to kill both of them!!"

"Señor!! I cannot do that!!"

"You want me to call immigration? Do it!!"

She puts down the phone, and he hears two shots fired. She picks up the phone and says, "Señor, I have done as you asked."

"That's fine. What did you do with the gun?"

"Señor, I have thrown the gun into the pool."

"The pool? Is this 323...9...7...2...8?"