Two Hunters in the Woods When One Collapses
He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator says “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, and then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says “OK, now what?”
Asking for A Day Off
A worker goes up to his boss and asks:
Worker: Hey, sir, I'm having a kid, can I have the day off?
Boss:Sure go ahead
The next day, the worker comes in and the boss asks:
Boss: Hey! Is it a boy or a girl?
To which the worker replies: "I don't know, but I will tell you in nine months."